Женский и Мужской словарь английского языка

Женский английский	Мужской английский
Maybe = No	I’m hungry = I’m hungryI’m sleepy = I’m sleepy
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry	I’m tired = I’m tired
We need = I want	Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now	Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later	Can I call you sometime? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
We need to talk = I need to complain	May I have this dance? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Sure… go ahead = I don’t want you to	Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!	You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?	What’s wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs	What’s wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house	I’m bored = Do you want to have sex?
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…	I love you = Let’s have sex now
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive	I love you, too = Okay, I said it…we’d better have sex now!
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like	Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV	Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn’t look that much different!
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful	Let’s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you’d like to have sex with me
I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important	Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
The same old thing = Nothing	(while shopping) I like that one better = Pick any freakin’ dress and let’s go home!
Nothing = Everything
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead]
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an asshole

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